Doubt . . .

Doubt. It creeps up on you. It seeps into your mind. It undermines everything you do.

I am starting to doubt my ability to complete this half marathon. I am struggling. No where near where I was last year. I know it is early in my training. But, to be honest, it has been hard.

Did 5 miles this morning. I should be happy with that, but I am not. I was really slow. My legs and my lungs were hurting. Barely made it to the end. And I am not losing weight this year. Struggles abound.

And here comes doubt. Can I do this? Am I too old? I am nuts to even try this. What was i thinking?

I want to give up. I want to stop and just forget about this whole thing. That is one reason why I have put this challenge out here (and on Facebook, Dailymile, Twitter). Making the challenge public, makes it hard to quit.

So what to do.

One of my favorite movie quotes is from Castaway, Chuck (played by Tom Hanks) had lost everything after being air wrecked on a small atoll in the Pacific. He had even lost the power over his own death. Faced with the power of nothing he recounted:

I knew, somehow, that I had to stay alive. Somehow. I had to keep breathing. Even though there was no reason to hope. And all my logic said that I would never see this place again. So that's what I did. I stayed alive. I kept breathing. And one day my logic was proven all wrong because the tide came in, and gave me a sail. And now, here I am. I'm back. In Memphis, talking to you. I have ice in my glass... … And I know what I have to do now. I gotta keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?


So, I will keep going. Stick with my training schedule. Make it day to day. Because who knows what will happen. Maybe doubt will be chased away.

Week Two - Day 4 - Long Run

Wrapping up Week Two of official training for the half marathon. I end each week with a “long” run. This one was not too long - only 4 miles - but you have o start somewhere . . .and I am still building my base.


The run went ok. Still not feeling it, but getting stronger - both my lungs and legs. I can definitely feel the wear on my body by the end of the week. I am not too concerned about my time on these runs, but it was better than my 4 miler last week when I almost passed out.

So, I have that going for me.

Week One - Day Three - First "Long" Run

Did my first “long” run today - only 4 miles, but it took a lot out of me. Was breathless and lightheaded at the end. Ran the bridge - twice. Got off to a late start (about 0900) and had not eaten breakfast. Probably had low blood sugar.

Anyway, really really struggled at the end. 14:30 pace for a while - slower than walking :(.

Finished. But on the way home, I almost passed out. I stopped by the convenience store to pick up a Gatorade. Was really dizzy there. Honestly though I would fall. I asked the clerk if I could just sit down for a awhile. And I did. About 5 minutes - sipped my gatorade. Got some sugar in my blood - felt better. Still, it was a little disconcerting.

Finished my mileage. Finished Week One with just one missed workout on Thurs (work). Here is to a solid beginning,

Week One - Day One - My First 2

Ran the Day One mileage today - only 2 miles. But it was hard. It was hard because I was on the treadmill. It was hard because it was later at night (about 2230). And, It was hard because I ate a giant Mexican Dinner at Peppers only a few hours before.

But .. . I did it! I preserved. I carried through. I was relentless - well you get the idea. . . .

Feel hot and sweaty and it is 10 pm . . . and Cheri won’t go near me because i stink

But I feel good about this beginning - Hope much more is to come.

Day ZERO - Back on the Road

Day ZERO

Back on the Road! My training doesn’t officially start til Tuesday, but I wanted to get on the road and running again beforehand.

I sat down this weekend and crafted a 16 week plan to complete a half marathon in November. I signed up for the Disney Wine and Dine Half over Chris’ dive championship weekend. 13.1 miles - WOW. Who would have thought that I would even consider such a thing last year when I first started running. Now, I actually think I can do it.

Anyway, the plan is to take a few weeks rebuilding my base, then slowly build to longer and longer runs until I can do 10 to 12. Then I should be ready.

Training starts for real on Tuesday. This week I should get about 11 miles total in - certainly doable - have done it before.

Want to keep this journal as a record of the training and this accomplishment. Also, perhaps some training pointers also.

Lets get it started.